This week’s episode is all about learning the Gift of Gab. When you start with the premise that “Conversation is courtesy,” then you can really start to listen. On the other hand, a creepy listener is overly concerned with formulating a response in their head. The discourteous conversationalist is not really listening nor are they particularly interested in what the other person has to say. I know you’ve encountered these people. A discourteous conversationalist glances at their phone, reflection in the mirror, computer screen, etc. You can feel them thinking of something clever to say. Ick. Don’t be a conversational creep. Stop trying to formulate something clever to say. Step back. ACTUALLY LISTEN.
“Conversation is courtesy…when you approach a new acquaintance make sure your hand as well as your mind is outstretched.” I love this quote from Elsa Maxwell’s Etiquette Book (1951). That really is one of the best ways to visually put yourself in the right frame of mind to enter a conversation. Conversation as a courtesy is all about the other person. That is more mindset driven, than being overly worried about what to do with your hands and how to hold your face during a conversation. Conversation is about the other person. Hand and Mind outstretched.
Essentially, stop making it about you boo. Focus on the other gal in the convo. How do you do that? You listen. Listen intently. Don’t worry about being interesting. Just be interested. This is your Saturday Style Dare. Watch your brain next time you are conversing. Redirect it back to the person when you notice it start to drift or when you start trying to come up with clever things to say. Redirect yourself back to just listening.
On this week’s episode, we discuss:
- How having the gift of gab isn’t something you are born with.
- How you can cultivate the gift of gab, even if you are shy or feel awkward.
- Conversation is a courtesy.
- The art of listening.
- Stop focusing on being interesting. Be truly interested.
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